Zero Gain

 

The last time I rode in a taxi was when I flew down to the Florida Keys to visit the location of my new job and find a place to live. I had little to no money and I had to raid my retirement savings from my previous job in order to survive until i recieved my first paycheck from the new occupation. Living and working in an area where millions of people travel from around the world just to vacation for a few days was a once in a lifetime experience but living paycheck to paycheck wasn’t such a great experience.

I had made so many strides and gains from those days. I had money saved, a masters degree, tenure in a vested career, nice cars, a brand new house, a wife and a budding military career as a Sergeant in the Army National Guard. What happened between that watershed moment and the moment where I am now where I’m back to being single and living in an apartment with only a few dollars to my name? A series of bad decisions. 

Staying with a woman that only had her self interests at heart was the beginning of the end. Taking on car payments that were more than what I would have been comfortible with before marriage was the next bad move. Spending more money than I would have normally spent to ease the emotional and financial pain from going through a divorce was the next misstep. 

The pain of watching my immediate family dwindle from a 5 member household down to nothing is also an emotional pain that I did not take the necessary steps to deal with. Spending and running, running and spending without thinking except to ease the emotional pain of feeling alone, abandoned, betrayed and heart-broken. The final nail in the coffin was to sit on my ass for the entire summer and do nothing but lay around without a care in the world. So, here I am once again riding in the back of taxi, almost no money, and a long way from the next paycheck—zero gain.

There is a silver lining, though. My National Guard check is due to hit the bank in a couple days and I did pull my head out of my ass in order to make repairs to the X5 that I should have done on my own in the first place before relying on a mechanic that didn’t have any experience working on a BMW to touch my car, which was part of that last nail. It will take time to get back on top once again, and from this day forward all unnecessary spending will come to an end. I can survive this but most importantly, I must make a continuous effort to never go down this road again. 

 

Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2017 at 12:32PM by Registered CommenterRomulus Burnett | CommentsPost a Comment

Where to Go From Here.

Okay let’s recap 2016: Officially divorced by early February and dating a new love by the end of March. Pursued administrative certification while trying to juggle several other responsibilities simultaneously. First attempt at a successful return to a healthy relationship crashes and burns. by the end of November. Juggling too many responsibilities on the job as well as complete the administration program also crashed and burned. To add insult to injury my dad died two days before Christmas.

Yes, last year was literally the worst year of my life. The stress of taking one loss after the next has inevitably shaken my spirit to the point where self-doubt has crepted in and done its damage to the effect where I have all but completely lost my drive, ambition and resiliency. For the past two months I made the effort to completely withdraw from any responsibilities and get into my feelings as it were.

For those of you who are still lingering on to my blog after all these months have passed I have good news. As I’m waiting for the auto parts store to open so that I can get parts for my broken down BMW I’m going to make an effort to begin posting entries again. Will the next few entries be the insightful, informative, romantic posts of the past? Doubtful because my creative flow is fractured. The next few posts will more than likely take on more of diary persona as I have to recover from the delayed reaction to a horrible year. 

The bright side: On blind faith I took a stab in the dark and attended a Secret Santa party where I met Cheryl. It was really a cute little interaction—She was a textbook introvert that quietly enjoyed the evening comfortably glued to the couch observing everyone else’s extroverted interactions as we clumsily mingled amongst each other, drank, played Pictionary and exchanged gifts.

She wasn’t even aware that I was interested in her as I found it difficult to approach her because she was attached to the middle-aged woman she came to the party with. On our next encounter we went to the movies as a group and then dinner where we made brief small talk. She was appealing in that she wasn’t anything like the type of woman I usually charge after. Mild mannered, quiet, and comfortable in her own skin.

We had our first date on New Year’s Eve, a milestone on so many levels. Six months later we are going strong without the tumultuous highs and lows I have experienced in so many past relationships. Gone are the days of high drama where a love interest feels the need to insert chaos because she feels insecure about any number of irrelevant issues. Gone are the days of being concerned with how social circles gravitate from one social event to the next, where to be seen and who to be seen with. For the first time in my life I am in a situation where I can take my time to grow a relationship without outside influences or having to adhere to an arbitrary timeline of benchmarks. To be continued.

Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2017 at 08:27AM by Registered CommenterRomulus Burnett | CommentsPost a Comment

Day 100.

 

 

   In his first 100 days your president has failed. For the first time in the history of The United States of America a sitting president is under FBI investigation for collusion with Russia, a strategic enemy.

The first senate intel hearing is already underway—He has insulted our closest U.S. allies, seeks to destroy every institution that serves for the betterment of society, and cost the U.S. taxpayer more money in his first 2 months in office than any other U.S. president in history. 

Your president gave you more than enough indication during his campaign run that he was unfit. But you, the silent majority, voted for him anyway out of spite, hate, and vindictiveness. Like my mama used to say: “When you plan on digging a grave for someone else you better dig two.”

Y’all lying asses up there on Capitol Hill love using football analogies so much—If you show up to a game and you don’t have enough players you don’t delay the game you forfeit!! A deadline is a deadline. There is no do over!Good at closing a deal? You can’t even close your twitter account.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on Friday, April 14, 2017 at 07:07PM by Registered CommenterRomulus Burnett | CommentsPost a Comment

Not My President

 

Here’s the point: Yes he’s the president but he’s an illegitimate president—period. What was found as a result of Russian collusion is irrelevant. The fact that the election was tainted due to foreign interference thereby tilting the scales on the premise of malice supports the notion of his illegitimacy.

It was a trifecta of James Comey’s partisan tampering with a pointless letter within 10 days of the election, the illegitimate president’s self-admitted repetition of lies about Hillary, and the partisan cyber effort of at-large rapist Julian Assange .

Yes—The U.S. Government can be viewed as hypocritical for expressing outrage at Russian tampering when the U.S. has been known to tamper in the politics of other governments but it doesn’t make what Russia did right or just. Furthermore, as PoliticoTime, and Prospect Magazine have all reported, Russia and Great Britain has been known to interfere in U.S. elections as far back as the era of our founding fathers. 

The fact that many Americans sat there in silence as president Obama faced

  intentional, unwarranted disrespect, treasonous opposition, and blatant, telegraphed, overt political obstruction for 8 years but are vocal today reminding people that an illegitimately elected man is ‘our president’ is very telling of their uninformed indifference and blind hypocrisy.

 

The fact that many Americans can sit there and watch an illegitimately elected man who lost in a popular vote landslide, and poorly lost 3 straight debates blatantly commit what can be considered political suicide by making racist, sexist, xenophobic, fear mongering, hate mongering, misogynistic, anti-American comments and still cheer him on is very telling of their childish, short-sighted, unwarranted vengefulness, vindictiveness and misplaced anger.

But remember this: Black people have in large and by far always learned how to not only do without but also excel in the face of adversity, at the hands of a people who have fought vigorously and unjustly to hold us down and hold us back for more than 400 years. You have your illegitimate president but we’re unequivocally patient.

Posted on Sunday, January 22, 2017 at 11:17AM by Registered CommenterRomulus Burnett | CommentsPost a Comment

Peace in my Heart

 

 

 

 

In my later years I developed this weakness called accommodating a person’s flaws. After all I’m not perfect and I shouldn’t expect my next mate to be. Unfortunately, this has proven to be more of a hindrance than a help. After having gone through a bitter divorce at the end of a 7 year marriage, and a six month relationship that hit a brick wall at this point I’m about sick and damn tired of writing these short stories about the women I’ve encountered.  It’s, as my mama used to say, “time out” for analyzing what went wrong and how can I make things right with the next relationship and start calling a spade a spade.

There’s a reason why men date several women at one time and feed each one of them with a long-handled spoon. And before you start thinking this is the angry rant of a bitter black man—It isn’t. This is going to be an in depth discussion focused on the rationale for selective dating. Let’s begin with the last female I dated: Aurora. I looked at my list of needs and wants and she fulfilled every characteristic on the list:

1. Gainfully employed

2. No children

3. Home owner

4. Sexually compatible

5. Her parents are still together

6. Outgoing personality

7. God-fearing

However, the one negative personality characteristic that hopelessly outweighed all of her positive attributes was this:

-10. Anger management issues

Against my better judgement I fell for her early in the game (biggest mistake) even though her biggest flaw reared its ugly head almost from the get-to. What she experienced the last remnant of accommodating disposition I possessed. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going on a hoing spree. I’m going to sit my ass right here and figure out how to not only move forward but also get my writing career off the ground in 2017. Nevertheless, her unstable sophistiratchet behavior eventually caused me to take pause and literally stop working on what would have been my next journal entry on this blog. To recap—What were the prevailing factors that have been deal breakers?

1. Ghetto mentality 

2. Inferiority complex

3. Inability to peacefully coexist

4. Verbally/physically abusive

I can’t take women seriously anymore because they don’t take life seriously. At least when it comes to developing a healthy relationship with a good man. I refuse to ‘take a look at myself’ and contemplate how I can be more accommodating. Too many women have perfected the art of shopping, clubbing, following reality shows, making dream boards, and fine dinning but refuse to figure out how to peacefully coexist with a man. 

 At this point it doesn’t matter what went wrong. The problem is blatant and recurring. That woman simply wants an arrangement. This woman has never been in a healthy relationship, so she acts out. That woman is broke and hasn’t figured out how to pick herself up, dust herself off, and rebuild her life. This woman is holding out for the perfect man that doesn’t exist. Meanwhile, she’s open to superficial baby boys beating her down emotionally, and psychologically.

That woman wants to control the relationship to the point of emasculating her man, and this woman only wants a sponsor. That woman simply isn’t fit for interpersonal or intra personal interaction due to being mentally unstable. This woman waited until she had 2 or more children, then decided she wants to “take her time”, wait on God, and find the right man. And finally, there’s that woman that will set her girlfriend up for failureby spreading misinformation.

I don’t have any answers. No one does. What’s worse is there are no answers when it comes to interacting with women. It’s simply a luck of the draw. As Rod Stewart said: “Some guys have all the luck, some guys have all the pain”. Certainly, there are happy relationships and happy marriages out there. The key is for both the man and the woman to be willing to constantly adapt to the point of anticipating behavioral changes and act accordingly.

Make a joint effort to plan for time and space to periodically transpire between the two i.e. a man having a man cave or a woman having ladies night out. This isn’t a magic solution because insecurity, selfishness, and immaturity can quickly wreck that situation. No—It’s not about love or money. It’s about achieving a healthy balance of spending an appropriate time apart with the goal of returning to each other and work on strengthening the bond you developed at the begining of the relationship.

As of now I’m single and have serious doubts about marrying again. I still feel broken and need peace in my heart. In the past I could quickly recover from setbacks but now it’s getting harder. I feel the scars from the past in my heart and they ache with each breath. I take responsibility for this pain because I know I could have easily avoided it instead of taking risks for the sake of achieving matrimony.

I will put myself back together. However, love is no longer an option. Why? Because love is intangible. It can’t be worn, spent, driven or eaten. Love is too easily mistaken for abuse, a conditional transaction, and a means of currency. Love should actually insulate one from these earthly limitations, which is why it lasts forever. I see now. I know I won’t encounter love. It sounds melodramatic but it’s true. And this is the source of my pain.


 

Posted on Tuesday, November 15, 2016 at 08:19AM by Registered CommenterRomulus Burnett | Comments1 Comment
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