Tyrene.
Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 12:33AM 
Have you ever been in the situation where you encountered a female while coming up through college that caught your eye for a moment but never really got around to scoping her out? Yeah, I was there. I was enjoying a little down time between relationships and doing a little volunteer work for a student organization on campus when I came across Tyrene. She had smooth brown skin, sly, almond-shaped eyes, broad cheekbones, full lips and a fairly small frame that was punctuated by grapefruit-sized breasts and an apple booty.
Her boyfriend was a dude that I volunteered with for the collegiate chapter of the NAACP. Always a man of integrity I always kept a safe distance from her, seeing as the dude seemed to act a little insecure whenever she was around - you know - all protective and controling. I laughed that shit off because I don’t mess with females that are already spoken for. Anyways, we ran into each other from time to time but she never spoke to me. She always kept her eyes and conversation fixed on her man as if I was invisible. It’s all good - I understood what the deal was - that she was trying to insulate his insecurity. Time went on, we graduated, and went our separate ways.
* * * * * * * * *
Downtown - late Friday night with my frat brothers at Millie’s and Billies, a black nightclub, for some drinks and a little fellowship. It had been about 3 years since I had really cut loose, so this is my time to turn it out. We’re all discussing the happenings at the office, how things are going with the frat, and other tidbits when we finally decided to surf up on the conversation of women. Some of the brothers are married with kids, so they drop conversation about tolerating and comprimising with the wife and kids on a daily bases, Of course you always have the one brother in the crowd that’s single and just can’t find that perfect woman, and then there’s Mr. Rolodex with his schedule of women, and then there’s me. Just as single as the sky is blue with no attachments and loving it.
Since I’m the only one that was truly free to do whatever I pleased I proceeded to scope the ladies in the bar. I’m flirting with two women, a thick asian girl rolling with some of her white friends sitting at the booth to the right and two AKA’s sitting at a table on the other side of the bar to the left. While I’m making eye contact and smiling at the sisters to my left I gave my waitress a message to give to the asian girl at the booth. I told my waitress to give the asian girl a sprite with a cherry. “Tell her to eat the cherries if she’s interested in exchanging numbers,” I said to the waitress. She smiled with a hint of deviousness and says “I’ll get right on it.”
My frat is sitting there in astonishment - anxious to see this ploy unfold. Before the waitress makes it to the asian girl’s booth with the drink I made my move with Mike over to the AKA’s at the table to our left. Mike is a dark-skinned, wirey dude with a nicely shaped low fro, a cool demeanor. He’s wearing his Probate jacket with bold black and gold letters of A PHI A and lots of confidence - a good choice for a wing man. We stroll over to the table where I introduce myself and my frat brother to the two sisters and make some quick small talk. “Evening ladies. We noticed you from across the way and I told my frat, Mike, you two must be AKA’s,” I said with a slight flair of cockiness. They both smiled and giggled. one sister responded saying “How could you tell?” Mike smiles with a look on his face waiting to see how I manuver myself in this deal. “I can spot ladies of distinction a mile away” I replied. And they laughed as if they were old friends happy to see us. “Skee phi, brothers,” the two AKA’s said to us - the greeting sisters of Alpha Kappa Alpha give brothers of Alpha Phi Alpha.
“I noticed there was a black Mercedes SLK with an AKA tag on the front and I knew that car had to be yours,” I said with my usual smooth voice and Orbits gum comercial smile. “You are correct. My name is Terry,” said the sister to my left. She had shoulder length brown hair, sunglasses in resting on her temple, holding back her brown locs, and deep dimples. “and this is my best friend Ashaki.” Ashaki is a petite, caramel colored sister with neat locs, Shaka Kahn lips, lazy brown eyes, and a light brown mole on the left side of her small nose. Mike gives me a quick glance and a slight nod of approval - sort of “way to go, homie” kind of look. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my waitress coming out with a glass of Sprite on her tray. It’s time for a hastey, yet gentlemanly retreat back to our table. “Well, ladies it was nice to meet you and I’m sure we’ll run into each other again,” I said as Mike and I shook their hands and walked away. They both smiled and went back to conversating.
The waitress gives the Asian girl the sprite with two cherries, and relayed my message to her, just as I asked. Immediately, the asian girl beams and smiles as her friends scope around the bar to see who sent her the drink. The waitress points her over to me and her smile brightens even more. As she eats the cherries the other girls at the table unleashed loud laughs and whoops and hollers. At this point my frat brothers were blown away to see that I’m working two different tables at the same time, neither table being the wiser. Prancing her way back to our table my waitress says, “Yes, she’s interested but she lives in Troy and goes to Troy State University. She’s just in town to see the UAB, Troy State basketball game.” Damn, that’s too long distance for me. I returned the asian girl’s smile and waved. a few more hours, 9 Corona Extras, and a Rum and Coke later I’m so deep in conversation with my frat I eventually forgot about the women. Just as we’re about to pay our tabs I spotted a familiar face sitting at the bar alone. It’s Tyrene.
* * * * * * * *
Another bout with Crohns caused me to miss my test date to take the comprehensive exams for my Masters degree program, so I’m pressed for time to pass the exam the second time around before the end of the school year. Tyrene is entruding even more into my life - bullying her way in as if she were an estranged wife jocking for more quality time. How you can squeeze three more hours out of a 24-hour day is beyond me but she somehow acts as if its her sole purpose in life. I’m already teaching art classes, coaching a boys track team, and studying once again for the comps and she continues to call, leaving dozens of messages on my cellphone.
“Romulus, it’s Tyrene. If you want to break up just tell me. You don’t have to keep ignoring me like this…….bye.” I wasn’t ignoring her in so much as I was trying to focus on maintaining all of my responsibilities as well as try not to collapse from chronic abdominal pain. Nevertheless, she left message, after message, after message - 26 in total. There’s a knock at my door. I walk up and gaze in the peephole and it’s Tyrene. Someone had let her in through the security door downstairs in the lobby. I opened the door and walked lethargically back to my bed with her following.
“Romulus, are you just going to ignore me,” she screeched in her sqeeky, annoying voice. “I tried calling you but you wouldn’t answer your phone. Why won’t you answer your phone?” she demanded. I burned a gaze through her eyes with the little energy I had left as I layed almost helplessly across my bed. “You do understand what I’m going through right now don’t you?” I replied raspily. It was as if I hadn’t even opened my mouth. She gazed at me like a mental patient and said “Romulus, can I ask you a question? Are you seeing someone else?” Damn - she finally pushed me to my boiling point after several months of dating. “How the fuck do you think I would be seeing someone else when I work nearly 12 hours a day and study half of the night while I literally waste away!?!?” I said with a slight newfound shred of energy. She backed away and wore a look of disappointment on her face. As she turns away and walks toward the bedroom door she says “Well, look since there doesn’t seem to be anymore room in your life for me I guess I’ll just leave you alone,” she replied as she stormed out through my apartment door.
* * * * * * *
Yoko is in town again to stay with me for the weekend. Friday night is DVD night so we take a trip over to Blockbuster to scoop up some movies. After about 30 minutes of looking there’s nothing out that we haven’t already seen yet. “Hello, Romulus.” Yoko and I turned to see who it was that called my name. Within the milisecond that I heard my name being called I already knew who it was. “Hello, Tyrene,” I replied with a dry, non-chalant tone before turning back around to mind my own business. “You sure don’t waste any time do you?” Tyrene said with a venomnous tone. “I guess not,” I replied. Tyrene stood there for a second with a stone face and arms crossed as if she expected a confrontation. I don’t play that shit especially in public. She scanned Yoko’s body from head to toe - focused on Yoko’s thick, muscular thighs, calves, round butt and long, jet black, feathered hair, then walked away, storming through the exit door.
I cut this little ordeal short and ushered Yoko out of the video store toward my car. Just as we’re outside I spotted Tyrene leaned up against her car in the parking lot, chattering up a storm on her cellphone. “Who was that? Is that your ex?” Yoko whispered in a soft voice. “Yeah,” I replied reluctantly. Tyrene hangs up her cellphone and approaches us. She waves her hand at us and says, “Yes, Romulus, I finally found a real man and I’m engaged,” She bragged in that annoying little screechy voice. “You better watch out honey or he’ll leave you too once he knocks you up like he did me. Yes, Romulus, I had my abortion by myself but you was too busy blogging on your computer to care!!” Tyrene turned and stormed back towards her car and I calmly walked Yoko toward my car, carefully looking around my car to make sure there was no vandalism.
This female, Tyrene, is honestly out of her ever-loving mind. How can someone go from a break-up to being pregnant, to having an abortion, and recover from the abortion in time to pursue a relationship with another dude to the level of becoming engaged within 4 months? Yeah, Tyrene had finally baught the farm and turned into a coo coo bird. The rest of the night was akward for Yoko and I as I explained that whole ordeal about Tyrene. As she had time to digest what had happend that night we continued on with our lives.
Reader Comments (2)
not for nothing, this is a crazy entry. and a crazy ass.
hey just read it..im soo spun out!! i live all the way in AUSTRALIA..but i am ov NEW ZEALAND heritage i just happened to google MY name TYRENE and up came ur page but what had me tripped out is that u mention someone named TERRY! i actually have a lil sister named TERI...&& that last bit how tyrene was out of her mind..i actually had the exact same experience(minus getting engaged in 4months..i been with mah man for 2 years)..from the break up, to falling pregnant etc etc...WOW! i just cant believe it its pretty crazy but i know its random i just had to post this up!!!take care!!