Women's Double Standards.

I’m no different from any other brother that holds himself to better standards while keeping from being made a fool of by the opposite sex or anyone else for that matter. I’ve had my ups and downs in my romantic endeavors but one thing I’ve noticed is the ridiculous double-standards women will subject a man to. Before I continue with this entry let me make myself clear in saying that this isn’t some attempt to bash women. Men should take the time to understand women’s behavior to the point that they aren’t left holding their d!ck or their empty wallet in their hand and wandering why they have a broken heart.

If a man calls up a one too many times, then he’s a stalker. If a woman calls one too many times, then she’s just trying to express her love for a man. If a man dumps a woman, then he’s a dirty bastard that wouldn’t give a woman a second chance. but if woman dumps a man, then he deserved it because he was weak/cheap/an ass.hole/a loser/ possessive/abusive/ lazy/ a poor communicator etc.

If a man cheats on a woman, then he’s a low down dirty bastard that deserves to be dragged behind a fast moving bus. However, if a woman cheats on a man, her reasoning behind her betrayal is that she wasn’t getting her sexual/ financial/materialistic personal attention needs fulfilled at home. If a man holds out for the right woman, then he must be on the down low. He must be gay or just wants to be a player because as we all know, all single black women are perfect and readily available. But when a sister holds out for the right man, then she has a right to do so because we all know every black man out there ain’t nothing but a baby-making, lazy, good-for-nothing negroes that screw anything with two legs.

When a woman breaks up with a man he needs to understand that it’s over, no means no, and he should move on—he’s a weak punk if he has anymore contact with his ex or even remotely thinks about getting back together with her. If a man breaks up with a woman, then she feels she should be allowed to badger, harrass, and stalk her ex—run around town dragging her ex’s name through the mud, and run off any of her ex’s future potential lovers by any means necessary.

When in the later phases of a relationship, if a woman starts laying down the framework about what she wants to happen in the future, then she’s justified because women are smarter than men and men are supposed to please their woman. When a man does the same, then he’s an overbearing, arrogant, controling ass.hole that thinks he has to have it his way or the highway.

If a man gives it up early in the first stages of dating and the relationship has a short life, then he should count his loses and move on. If a woman gives it up early and the relationship has a short life, then the man is the one that’s labeled as being a user, a player, a ho.

In a long distance relationship, the man is expected to uproot everything and move to where the woman lives. A woman can have 2 or 3 kids, be broke, unemployed, uneducated, fat and ugly and think she should demand what pop culture dictates as the perfect mate; six figure income, educated, over 6 feet tall, chocolate, musclebound brother with whatever popular hairstyle (Locks, teets, gotee, etc.)after she learned the hard way that hoing ain’t the way. Not only can a brother have one flaw and he’s not worth a woman’s time, if he has similar ambitions of wanting a certain type of woman, then he’s being unrealistic and he should accept anything that comes along.

And finally, both men and women can be blame for this next scenario: If a brother has any criticism about his experiences with women, then it’s his fault. It must be the kind of women he’s pursuing. He must have a low self-esteem. He doesn’t know how to get along with black women. He’s experiencing self-hate. If a woman criticizes her experiences with men, then she’s justified because there are so many sorry ass, irresponsible, good-for-nothing brothers out there so, the sister should go get herself a white man and live happily ever after. It can’t be the woman’s fault that she’s had problems with black men because she’s always the innocent victim that just wants what’s best for her man.

Many women hide behind that old addage that boys don’t hit girls and take that garbage into adulthood. In my opinion, this mainly stems from the unbalanced culture we live in. Even though both males and females are human beings with emotions, men traditionally have been raised to be ‘tough’ and not cry while women were raised to be ‘feminine’ and emotional. Females are to be protected and coveted while males are supposed to get out there and take the world by storm.

Women figured out a long time ago how to use that biased tradition to their advantage. How did we let it happen? Because that’s the way it has always been in eurocentric history. How do we stop it? By using better judgement. You know the difference between right and wrong, and you know when you’re getting the short end of the stick during interpersonal interaction, so the wise thing to do is to fight for an equal playing field from the get-go.

Many women won’t tell you this and they’ll deny it to their graves but they believe in having the upper hand. They like knowing more about you than you know about them, and they prefer to cheat at the game of love. I’m not suggesting that you be a pimp or a player but just use your common sense and stay rational no matter what a female does in the pursuit. You have romantic rights just like women do. You must feel like you’re getting equal attention. You must feel like your emotional investment isn’t being wasted, and most importantly, you should listen to that FIRST voice.

Check this out: Chances are, if something doesn’t feel right, then it  isn’t right. Therefore, you must speak up on it. If you don’t feel like she’s on the same page with you, then have a non-confrontational conversation with her about it and ask why.  If she opens up, then she likes you. If she puts you off or gets defensive, then there’s trouble. Let me make myself clear. I’m not talking about being paranoid I’m talking about paying close attention to a female’s behavior patterns. Learn how to think like a woman. How do you do this? Simply by observing and communicating. Get past the physical attraction and pay attention to how she reacts to your actions.