Anandi (Episode two).

(Fall 1994) Two intensive advanced courses, one in Italian Lit and the other in poetry,  occupied most of my summer. Nevertheless, my overactive mind reflects on two years of being helplessly in love  and being entrenched in a tantilizingly addictive, temperamental, self-destructive, tumultuous, on again  off again relationship with Anandi.  As if that isn’t enough I also had to wrestle with  three other variables in this magnificantly monogamous relationship that is a secretive affair. At the velocity I fell into these seemingly involuntary emotions my better judgement is hindered -  I couldn’t see the inevitable train wreck ahead. I had blindly and naively walked into a situation where I had to wrestle  not only with participating in a secretive relationship with, Anandi, I also had to wrestle with the fact that I was intruding on an engagement between her and her chosen fiancee, Bandhu.

The secretive element comes in where Anandi’s brother, Rajan, had to be kept in the dark of this whole relationship. It was relatively easy, particularly, for the first few months considering Rajan lives on the other side of campus. Howver, considering he’s also a student here it would just be a matter of time before he finds out. You see, in Sri Lanka, as well as in many other asiatic countries the first born son has just as much if not more power as the father.

If Rajan heres of our secretive relationship he will notify his parents. Anandi would have to withdraw from college and come home. Bandhu is also completely unaware of my relationship with Anandi as he religiously visits her once a month while he matriculates at another university out of state. My conscience weighed heavily on me in the begining as Anandi told me of his exsistence but when she said: “I love Bandhu but I’m in love with you, Romulus” I just spiraled deeper. He’s actually a cool guy. I met him a few times and he was easy to get along with. But what caught my attention was there was no real chemistry between him and Anandi. I never saw them hold hands or show any affection towards each other. They interacted like brother and sister. He even slept on the couch whenever he spent the weekend with Anandi.

When Raquel flew to Sri Lanka with Anandi for the summer I was even more uneasy - as I was left alone to deal with my issues without my only friend, Raquel, at my side to share her wisdom and advice and help me through this crazy time in my life.  Matters worsened as I read in the newspaper that another civil war was raging in Sri Lanka and many of the citizens were confined to their homes. I called Anandi’s home yesterday to see if everything was okay.

“Ello?”

“May I speak to Raquel?”

“Oo iz spee king?”

“Romulus.”

I had hoped Anandi would answer the phone but her maid beat her to the phone. I had to think quickly and ask for Raquel instead of Anandi as not to alert the family. I can hear the phone being handed to someone else and then I hear that familiar voice. “Hey boy what’s going on?” Says Raquel. “I’m chillin’ girl,” I responded. “I was really calling to see how you were doing. I heard there was a civil war going on over there. Are you okay?” I asked her.  “Oh yeah everything’s fine.” She says in her usual laid back tone. “It’s just that we’ve been stuck up in this big ass house for most of the summer and we can’t go anywhere.” She said. “Well, damn, did y’all get to do anything this summer?” I asked Raquel. “Oooooh yeah,” Raquel responded. ”We went to a few house parties and went to the beach. It’s all good.” She said in a jovial tone. “So, how’s things going between you and Anandi?” I ask her.

You see, even though Raquel and Anandi have this mother daughter relationship going on, Anandi has a tendency to play the traditional rebelling daughter role and cause people fits by throwing her infamous temper tantrums and playing the silent treatment and her patented you-are-invisible-to-me  moments. “Well, Romulus,” Says Raquel - and at that point that was all I had to hear. I know I’m in store for some heay shit when they get back to the States. “We’re getting along. Everything’s cool but you know I’m going to have to give you the complete rundown when we get back to the U.S.” She says. “When are y’all flying back?” I ask Raquel. “We’ll be flying back in about a week.” Raquel responds.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

“Hello?”

“Heeeey, Romulus. Sup man?”

“Hey, Raquel. I’m Chillin. Are y’all back?”

“Yep.”

“Is it safe to come over?”

“Oh yeah, boy, everything’s cool. We unpacked hours ago.” 

It feels like time is slowing down as I drive over to Raquel’s and Anandi’s dorm across campus. I’m not sure how to deal with the feelings swimming around in my head like an overcrowded aquarium filled with a school of agitated paranha. All I can think of is the 4 page letter Anandi sent me while she was in Sri Lanka. She talked to me in the letter like all of the love, the joy, the pain, and frustration that we went through was nonexistent. She spoke to me in her letter as if everything will inevitably come to a complete end like a music box winding down, creeking out it’s last few notes, when she eventually graduates and has to return to Sri Lanka to marry Bandhu.  My mind is so cluttered I don’t even know whether to feel enraged or heartbroken.  But all I know is the connection we have is real. She may be able to downplay or even dismiss her love for me in a letter written from the other side of the world but I know in my heart it will be a different ballgame when we’re face-to-face once again.

“Hey boy!” Raquel says as she gives me a sisterly bear hug. “Come on in!” She says. As I walk through the door my heart stops. Usually Anandi is sitting on the couch or she rushes from the bedroom to give me a hug. This time there is nothing but a calm silence. Raquel aims her head in the direction of the bathroom and makes a pounting face signaling that Anandi’s in the bathroom being her funky little self. “Have a seat, man!” She says. “So, what has your summer been like?” She asks. “Well, you know the deal with that,” I responded. “Those 500 level English courses are no joke.” I tell her. “I’ve done nothing but read, research, and write day and night.” Raquel shakes her head in agreement.

“I know man, I know. I’m going to start on the 500 level courses this fall.” She says. I make another perplexed facial expression at Raquel because Anandi still hasn’t come out of the bathroom yet. Raquel responds to my facial expression by rolling her eyes and shrugging. I respond to her reaction, nod and give a quiet sigh. “Well, boy,” Raquel says. “ I gotta go over to the student center to pick up some paperwork and see if I can drop and add some classes.” She grabs her backpack and heads toward the door. “I’ll see you later, Romulus.” Raquel says as she looks toward the bathroom. “Bye, Anandi!” Raquel says in a louder tone.  “Byyyye.” Responds Anandi in a nonchalant tone. Raquel rolls her eyes again as she looks in the direction of the bathroom and walks out the door.

I sat patiently on the couch in a brain peircing silence as Anandi continued to fondle around in the bathroom. She finally comes out of the bathroom The noise of my thoughts and emotions in my head ceases and I melt in my shoes at the sight of her as she comes around the corner. Her hair is darker, longer, and silkier than I had ever seen her hair before. Her skin is also a darker, smoother  brown hue. To my surprise she’s also wearing a brownish, redish eyeshadow and ruby red lipstick - I’ve never seen her wear any kind of make-up before. She’s wearing a nicely pressed pastel yellow dress shirt, rolled up at the sleeves, and cottony soft pastel blue shorts. Her legs have a brilliant sheen and she’s wearing her perfect little snow white cotton socks. “Hello, Romulus.” She says in a soft, faint voice as she walks slowly towards me without making any eye contact. “Hi,” I respond -  slightly dazed from her amazing makeover. She sits next to me - still not making eye contact - and holds my hand.

“How was your summer?” She asks as she hides her face behind her long, midnight blackish bluish mane. “I worked out, went to class, and thought about you.” I tell her in a soft, low, yet determined, confident tone.  I wanted to discuss the letter but my lips stop moving as if they were paralysed. She turns my hand over as she reaches over with her other hand and starts to slowly caress the back of my hand. “My mother took me to the salon while we were in London to give me a makeover.” She says in a softer tone. “Do you like it?” She asks. “Yes.” I respond but I’m not quite sure how to deal with her quiet distance. Suddenly, she abruptly puts her head on my shoulder and sighs. “I missed you, Romulus.” She says in a more familiar, loving tone. In an instant my mind clears like the afternoon sky after a raging thunderstorm. My heart melts like a warm Hershey bar and I rub my cheek on her head. “I missed you too, baby.” I tell her.

“What do you want to do?” She asks. I begin feeling confused. Frustrated. Angry. Broken. I’m unsure how to answer, then my memory reminds me of how quickly Anandi and I constructed our own little world, a mink-lined bubble at the bottom of the sea. I remember the night when she rushed to my car in the middle of the night and in the pouring rain and I dashed her off to my apartment to make love to her - I skipped all of my morning classes the next day and made love to her all morning. I remember the times when we just sat in her bed and held hands. I remember the times when we would sit on the river bank and talk about our future together until the sun set.

“I don’t know,” I tell her. “I’ve never been in love like this.” She looks up at me from behind her long black mane. I could only see one eye through her hair but that one eye reflected the feelings of every minute of every second of time we’ve spent together. “I love you too baby.” She responds. Instinctively we kiss but this time it feels different. I begin to feel more drawn to her than ever before but simultaneously I feel like I’m kissing a stranger. Just as we begin to explore each other’s clothes with our hands  she pulls away and we both regain our composure. “You better go.” She says so quietly that I barely hear her. “Yes, I guess I’d better.” I tell her.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

”Elicia and Bianca will be taking the Humanities course on Interracial Relationships and Marriages for the fall.” Yassir tells me as he’s thumbing through the paperwork of various incoming international students. “That’s cool,” I responded. “Thanks man for the help. I’ll handle the rest.” I tell him with a confident smile. “HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!” He laughs in boisterous tone. “I like you, ROM- U- LUS!” He says. “You are a very confident mon. Perhaps one day I will be as bold as you.” He says with a friendly smile as he pats me on the back.

Yassir is a very cool brother from Sudan I met while working out at the rec center. We talked a few times about the various mixers the international students will be having this fall and he clued me in on getting to know the ladies better through being a conversationalist for the exchange program. One day we’re just shooting the breeze while hanging out at the student center on campus and he flings out a stack of computer sheets as thick as a telephone book. “This fall there will be girls coming from Pakistan, China, Japan, Brazil, Jamaica, Iceland, Germany, Sweden…” As he continues to name off various countries while flipping through the computer sheets my mind starts to spin like the faces on a Las Vegas slot machine. “Are any girls coming from Spain?”  I ask him. “Ooooh of course.” He responds. “There will be 5 girls coming from Spain this fall.” It takes him a minute to flip to the page where the Spanish students’ names are located, then he reads them off. ” Abegail, Adelina, Beatriz, Bianca, , and Elicia.”

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

During the entire time the instructor read off his syllabus to the class and told us his expectations of class attendance and what not I scoped the classroom for the two Spanish girls. They were easy to spot out of the classroom of your average run-of-the-mill small town white kids and inner city black kids. Elicia and Bianca were sitting together in the back of the classroom with fresh tans and wearing very european summer fashions. At the end of class I approached them and introduced myself:  “Hola, señoras. Mi nombre es Romulus. Recepción a mi ciudad humilde.”  They looked at each other, giggled and looked back at me with bigger smiles.

The taller of the two reaches out to shake my hand. “Hola, I’m Elicia and this is Bianca,” She says. Elicia is tall, about 5’ 9”, and slender with lanky arms, small hips and breasts with large, toned legs like a swimmers. She has short, wild curly hair and a tomboyish demeanor.  ”You must be Rom…you…lus?” She says in a very thick Spanish accent as we shake hands. “Yes,” I responded with a big smile as I switch from Elicia’s hand to Bianca’s hand. Bianca is about 4’ 11” and petite yet very curvacious with softball-sized breasts, a tiny waist with hourglass round hips,  thick little legs, and a nice round booty.  Her skin is slightly darker then Elicia’s with large dark brown eyes and long, straight dark brown hair that hangs halfway down her back.  ”So, what did Yassir tell you about me?” I asked with a whimsical tone. “He said you were a great dancer!” Bianca says in a chipper tone.  

“There will be a latino dance party Friday night at nine,”  I tell them. “Would you like to go?” Maintaining their smiles they look at each other for a split second and turn their attention back to me. “Of course,” Says Elicia. “Where would you like to meet?” She asks. “Oh don’t worry,” I tell her. “I’ll pick you up around nine.” Bianca pulls out a sheet of paper from her notebook and writes both her number and Elicia’s number on the sheet of paper. She hands the paper to me with an elated smile. “It was nice meeting you, Romulus.” Bianca says as they walk away to their next class.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

”Hola, Romulus!” Elicia says in a festive tone as she opens her door. “Please come in!” she says as she walks away from the door back to her room. “We’re almost ready.  Just give us a minute please!” She says from her bedroom. “Make youself comfortable.” An unfamiliar female voice says from the bathroom. “Oh, Romulus,” Says Elicia. “That’s my roomate, Jennifer. Do you mind if she comes?” I’m laughing too hard on the inside. There is no way my luck could be so great  that I would have three beautiful young ladies in tow at the latino dance party. “Oh sure, no problem at all.” I say in a jovial tone. “Thank’s Romulus.” Jennifer says from the bathroom.

She steps out and walks up to me to introduce herself. “Hi, I’m the strange voice from the bathroom.” She says jokingly. “Nice to meet you.” I say with a greedy smile. Jennifer is a very petite little white girl. She’s about the same height as Bianca with shoulder length, curly blonde hair, blue eyes, a button nose and the phatest, roundest ass I’ve ever seen on a white girl. “Okay, We’re ready!” Elicia says as she skips out from her bedroom. “Bianca lives at the large dorm around the corner.” Says Elicia. Oh great, I’m thinking to myself. That’s where Anandi lives. I’m sure I’m going to hear from her at some point. “Okay, well lets go!” I say with a chuckle.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

(1:30am) It’s  a little awkward dancing with Elicia. She’s very good but she has a tendency to want to lead instead of follow. Except for a little too much hip gyrating, Jennifer is surprisingly a very good dancer. Her hips are soft and plush - she smiles as I switch from one move to the next. But with Bianca there’s an instant magnetic attraction. She instantaneously looks me dead in the eyes as I embrace her around her hips and she wraps her arms around my neck. She steps up closer between my legs, rhythmically bumping her thick thighs against my erection. She turns around and backs her soft, round booty up to my groin as we gyrate together, slowly dipping and grinding as we come back up. Jennifer taps me on the shoulder. “Sorry, Romulus,” She says. “I hate to spoil the fun but I have to drive to Virginia tomorrow.”  I had to pull myself out of the trance Bianca put me in to respond to Jennifer. “Oh that’s fine, we can go.”

Actually, I was glad Jennifer wanted to go. It was clear out of the three that Bianca is the one to make a move on. As we make our way towards my car Bianca makes the decision to want to sit in the front seat. Elicia and Jennifer instinctively opt to sit in the back seat and we make our way back to campus. I made it a point to Drop Jennifer and Elicia off first in order to have a little more time with Bianca. When we arrive at Jennifer’s and Elicia’s dorm they both hop out, each giving me a hug and thanking me for a wonderful night as they walk briskly to the front door giggling and talking. Bianca jumps back in the car after having let Jennifer out of the back seat and closes the door. She gives me a big smile. “Thank you so much for a wonderful evening.” She says in a very thick warm tone as she rubs my thigh slightly. “Would you like to see the art department before I take you back to your dorm?” I ask her. “Yes, of course,” She says. “It’s still early and it’s so warm outside.” She says in a seductive tone.

“You can see all the way across campus from here.” I tell Bianca as we walk out on the terace on the top floor of Norman Hall. “It is so beautiful and romantic up here.” She says as she walks up to the railing and gets up on her tiptoes to look down on the quad. As she looks around she seductively wiggles her booty, then she looks back at me to see my reaction. “Do you like what you see from here?” The look on her face turns from one of excitement to one of a more serious intent. “I’m not sure,” I tell her.

“Perhaps I should get closer to get a better view.” I walk up to her and look over her shoulder down at the quad below. I bend over to rest my chest on her tiny shoulders and reach around her waist to the railing in front of her.  She slowly arches her booty into my groin and pushes her back into my chest like a cat after waking up from a long nap. She quickly turns around, wraps her arms around my waist, stands up on her tip toes and gives me a deeply sustained, soul-clutching French kiss while pressing her belly into my erection.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I had just gotten home from a long day of giving Bianca a ride on my friend’s motorcycle up to the lake for a picnic when the phone rings.

“Hello?”

*Silence*

“Hi, Romulus.”

“Hello, Anandi.”

She sounds calm and quiet but I could immediately sense something wrong in her voice. “How was your day today?” She asks with almost a slight twinge of anger in her voice. “Today was great.” I told her. “I borrowed Rick’s motorcycle and went for a ride up to the lake.” I said. “Do you like her?” She asks. “Like who?” I say in response. I know what she’s asking but I want to hear the jealousy roll from her lips. It’s been nearly a month since she’s returned from Sri Lanka and I haven’t seen or heard from her, yet when she gets wind of what’s going on in my life she’s calling me up out of the blue. “The Spanish gull!” She says in a hard, low tone. Her Sri Lankan accent thick as ever. “She’s a nice girl but I just met her.” I tell her as I let loose a slight chuckle. “I see you tried to find one that looks as much like me as possible!” She says with almost a slight gringe.

 ”She has long dark hair just like me.”  She says as her voice begins to tremble. I laughed out loud. “What are you talking about?” I tell her. “Her looks have nothing to do with it. A friend of mine introduced me to her.” A burning rage overcomes me and boils up through my lungs. “Why are you worried about what I’m doing? You have a fiancee to worry about.” I tell her. “You’re going back to Sri Lanka after you graduate right?” I tell her. “So, why are you concerned with what I do with my life?“  The rage erupts from my heart uncontrollably to the point where I’m trembling, almost crying. The reciever is sweaty from my grip.

“For what it’s worth, Romulus, I do love you but you know what I have to go through.” She says. “You know my parents would not approve of us marrying each other. You know that!” She says as the trembling in her voice increases. “You knew what your situation was when you met me but you got involved with me anyway.” I say in an unforgiving tone. “Now you want to turn me off like a mechanical doll and put me in your toy box?”  My chest is burning simultaneously with love and hate for her. “You can’t turn me on and off like a light switch!”  I tell her in a forceful, hurt tone. “I can understand if you want to break up with me.” She says as I can hear the cracking in her voice. “Break up?” I tell her. “We were never together!!” I tell her.

“I better go, Romulus.” She says. That’s all she says. She doesn’t bother to acknowledge that she lead me and Bandhu on as she enjoyed both the luxury of having a fiancee while simultaneously sowing her wild oats with me.  ”Goodbye, Anandi.” I tell her. Rage still bleeding from my heart. God knows I want to run right over there and hold her in my arms. I want to wave a wand and make all of this pain and misery go away. Anandi is my soulmate and I know this deep in my soul. If she at least had given me a shred of hope, a piece of faith, I could have worked a miracle. But no matter how I tried to run the scenario through my mind over and over again of how to save this relationship all my mind kept returning back to was the cold words in her letter that simply said: We cannot be together in that way.

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[zen]

Dayam the international lover has feelings...