Advanced Dating 501
Friday, February 23, 2007 at 09:13PM 
Okay folks. I think at this point of my short career as an official blogger y’all can pretty much tell I don’t pull any punches, so what I’m going to do is give you the low down on how to truly be down with a woman and have her down for you. The advice I’m about to bestow upon you is targeted toward my younger audience - brothers between the ages of 21 to 30 but pretty much any age, race, and nationality of man can benefit. Before I begin let me make myself clear in saying that I don’t consider myself to be some hyper masculine, womanizing, nympho maniac that changes women like changing lanes in rush hour traffic on the way to work - hell naw. One thing you must understand about me is this: I alway have and always will be a one woman man. Every single intimate relationship I’ve been in was monogamous. Sure there was a time in my life when I dated several women at the same time but I wasn’t sexually active with them. Now, with all that you’ve read about me so far do you honestly think I’d pick now to lie?
Young brothers you must work on your listening and communication skills. This may be unimportant to many men, especially the ones that think quantity is more important than quality. Just because you can get ass doesn’t mean you’re a success. After all, someday you’re going to want to graduate from a simple piece of ass to a woman you can keep. You may even be able to talk a good game to a woman but do you know how to listen? They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well, the way to a woman’s heart is through her ears. This could be a double-edged sword situation so you have to know how to use your listening skills wisely. If you listen too well some women will quickly turn you into a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on and lose any romantic interest in you. However, if you know how to balance your listening skills with tact and assertiveness you can be emensely successful.
Three things you must do in order to be a successful listener:
1. You must make intense eye contact.
2. Be prepaired to question her objectively periodically so that she’s reaffirmed you’re paying attention.
3. Memorize the most important aspects of her conversation so you can revisit those aspects of her conversation at a later time at your discretion.
Being a good listener is a win/win situation. If a woman feels you not only actually pay attention to what she says but you can also recall important aspects of her conversations she’ll think you care about her. Whether it’s actually true or not is another story but at least she can’t trip you up with some type of irrational behavior. Memorizing certain aspects of her conversation also helps you to be more effective in future conversations with her, which leads to the second attribute: Communicating.
Three things to do in order to be a successful communicator:
1. Read women oriented materials (non-fiction and self-help books, periodicals, journals, movies, etc.) as well as other sources of current events in order to develop the capacity to converse on a multitude of subjects.
2. Eliminate curse words from your vocabulary and learn how to annunciate.
3. Expand your vocabulary.
Being able to articulate how you think and feel can be incredibly stimulating to a woman. One of the best things a man can do is to have a close female friend. In having a close female friend you can practice how you carry on a conversation with a woman. I’m not saying use a female to up your game just learn how to talk to her more. It’s easy to make 
mistakes with a friend because if she’s cool she’s going to correct you if you say something stupid and she’ll be more than willing to instruct you on the right things to say to a woman. It also helps if your female friend has some brains. If you already have a female friend, then develop a closer friendship with her. If you don’t have any female friends, then I suggest you get to finding one you can develop a friendship with. Don’t believe the hype about a man not being able to develop a platonic relationship with a woman. Some of my closest relationships have been with women. In the same instance I’ve also talked to a lot of women that have told me their closest friendships have been with men. I believe this is so because a man doesn’t feel feel he needs to project his masculinity towards a woman and a woman doesn’t view a man as competition.
It would be hard for a man to reveal his more vulnerable side to another man but it’s easier to reveal himself to a woman because women identify more with conversational intimacy and nuturing. In the same aspect it’s easier for a woman to open up to a man because a woman knows a man won’t take her vulnerabilities and use it against her the way many women do each other.
Conversation is the greatest foreplay you can give a woman. And it’s icing on the cake if you already have skills between the sheets. It adds to the mystery and excitement to talk to a woman for extended periods of time on various subjects yet not even remotely touch on the subject of sex, yet sustain her curiousity and interest in you. However, as I said before, you have to avoid becoming a shoulder to cry on. Make your intensions clear in the very begining that you’re romantically interested in her - do it once and do it tactfully. You don’t have to tell her you want to love her down but you can tell her you’re attracted to her in your own unique way.
If she understands where you’re coming from and slowly comes around then you’re on the right track. However, if you see yourself in a situation where she establishes her boundaries with you, then it’s time to back off - all the way off. You don’t have to straight up kick her to the curb just give her some distance. Wait for her to call you - after all, you’ve already voiced how you feel about her, so there’s no need for any more priming and coaxing. If she doesn’t respond, then she wasn’t really into you but if she responds, then she’s ready to take the next step.
Now, don’t confuse what I just said with playing games. A woman can get caught up really fast with a man and not even give him the slightest indication - that’s where that mode comes in where women think a man should automatically inherit ESP and figure out what they’re going through. Well, guys, chances are if a woman doesn’t take it to the next step with you on her own she’s either not into you or afraid of running you off, so give a woman some space and let her figure it out for herself. You don’t have to ask her just give her the space. If she likes you she’ll want to know why you all of a sudden fell off the face of the earth or so to speak. One thing you must remember, though, is that if you’ve developed that cerebral connection with a woman she won’t forget about you. All you have to do is be ready to deal with whatever emotions or possible baggage she’ll bring to you if she does decide to take that next step with you. And once you do make it from the living room to the bedroom it makes the moment more intense - you’ve already stimulated her on a cerebral level and once you make that physical connection the lovemaking is all the more climactic and complete.
Reader Comments (5)
This is a really good post. The balancing act that results from trying to be a good listener without becoming a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on is a difficult one. I've had that happen where the content of those things shared between us caused her to lose romantic interest and put me squarely in friend zone. Thanks for the tips.
spelled my own handle wrong...its Horus, not Horud...dammit
That was a extremely informative post(just like all the other post I've read on your site, keep it up, i really like when you talk about the females because you seem to have a quite the experience in the matter. I got this girl right now who I'm possibly going to take to the next step with, ill see in time but hopefully she hasn't established that "friend ladder" for me, for i think its close, she could just be way talkative.
why white women pictures are all over this site made by afro man anyway
Why can't you talk in complete sentences - you know, the kind of sentences with good subject, verb agreement, punctuation, capitalization, and no run-ons. Keep your racist, ignorant remarks to yourself and I'll tell you why in a minute....