What Women Want Live!

I’m going to be real with it - I had the unique opportunity while I was in Tampa to be a roving reporter for my blog and I screwed it up - well it wasn’t a total wash. It just didn’t pan out with Matt Lauer on The Today Show-like success. I had just driven from North Alabama to Tampa in under 8 hours averaging 115 mph from I-10 all the way down past Ocala on I-75 to get to The Westin at Harbour Island for a little relaxation. I was fine until I saw the king-sized bed with a four feet high mattress and heavenly white sheets. I walked in the bathroom and behold - a massive duel shower head with multiple massage settings. 

I hadn’t even unloaded my car yet - I stripped down, dragged myself under the dual shower heads and blasted myself into oblivion. After that I slipped on the complimentary snow white Terry cloth bath robe and walked over to the window to a beautiful view of the bay. Suddenly, I was drawn to the seven fluffed up pillows sitting on the bed like large sheep. I buried myself under the sheets and passed out.

Okay, I know you’re thinking to yourself, what the hell - tell us about the damn roving reporter deal, man!! Okay, okay - I decided to scout around the hotel as I casually unloaded my luggage from the car. I noticed posters placed on both the parking lot, ballroom and lobby levels. The poster read: Tonight at the Westin- “What Women Want Live.” 7:00pm (Executive producer and show creator Adrienne Harris pictured above on the left). My mind instantly starts spinning like the faces on a slot machine; There will be hundreds of women crawling all over this place in about 2 hours! I strolled past the ballroom and peeped a table that had boxes packed with white folders and a row of clip boards with what appeared to be some type of registration forms on them. Not only am I not invited I don’t know anything about this what women want thing and I don’t know anyone in this function.  I put it out of my mind and walked away.

I’m chilling in my room again trying to wind down from the trip when my curiosity piques again.  It’s about 9:30 so I decided to scout around again - at least to see what kind of women are showing up at this event.  I took the elevator down to the underground parking deck to get my camera from my car -  on my way back to the elevator I’m met by this tall, beautiful, middle-aged white woman. She had strong, well developed calves that were accentuated by her high heels. She had a great figure and a beautiful face - she looked to be about 45 but she was in great shape. She smiled modestly and made nice eye contact, then hesitatingly she took a pair of reading glasses out of her purse to read the poster. Damn - she must have been blind as a bat - the font on the poster was nearly 36 point black letters. Oh well, she’s still beautiful.

When I made it up to the ballroom level and walked out I was hit by a wave of women walking back and forth in and out of the ballroom area. Here I am surrounded by hundreds of formally dressed beautiful women and I’m looking like some dork in a t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts. Yeah, I had a suit back in the room but I was too zoned out to go all the way back up and put it on, so I walked up in the ballroom and started shooting pictures. I figured perhaps I could get a few pics and snag one of the left over folders and research the deal later. It didn’t really turn out like I planned - a petite chocolate sister steps up  to me and says: “Excuse me, who are you with?”

I’m thinking to myself, damn, this woman is going to get some security guy to smash my camera. At first I was just going to introduce myself as an innocent bystander but that would sound kind of strange for a guy to be standing in a ballroom right in the middle of a formal event dressed like a tourist for no reason. She puts out her hand and says “I’m Adrienne Harris, and you are?” I kinda, yeah, studdered my name. Luckily she couldn’t hear me over the hundreds of women talking away and mingling. I screamed my name again “Romulus Burnett!” I told her. She smiled while shaking my hand but she seemed to keep looking at me like she thought I was some  cronie undercover reporter for Bill O’Reilly or Heraldo or something so I pitched myself. “I’m a blogger for The Usurper and I was just investigating this event.

“Ohhh nice to meet you” she says. “I want you to talk to my executive assistant, Debby Kohler (pictured below on my right).” Adrienne  escorts me to a jovial white lady and disappears into the massive crowd of women.  Okay, now my head is a little more clear, so I started to ask questions. “What is this event all about?” I asked Debby. “What Women Want Live is a  T.V. program about positive women, the power of a positive attitude and the self empowerment of women.” Miss Kohler said with a superfluous amount of enthusiasm. 

Debby also stated: “Everywhere we look so many books, newspapers, and magazines are always talking negatively about women and men too and we want to send out a more positive attitude.” It all began to sink in - how I could be on the ground floor of what could be the next big movement in women’s television.  “Our show will be broadcasted locally in the Tampa area by Brighthouse cable and we are working on eventually being carried nationally by Viacom.” Debby says as I’m looking over the information in the folder. “Could you tell me about your blog again, Mr. Burnett?” She said with such zeal as if she were talking to Denzel Washington (well I am a handsome guy but that’s another story). For a split second I wanted to try to shine but I didn’t feel it was appropriate at the time, so I gave my simple pitch. “Well, my blog is all about eclectic afrocentricity” I told her. “I write about various topics ranging from politics, travel, multicultural current events, romance and art.” I said.

I kept my pitch as short and to the point as possible because I could tell Miss Kohler was very busy. “I appreciate you giving me the time to briefly interview you, Debby.” I told her as I shook her hand. “Could you please write down your information about your blog so we can stay in contact?” Debby asked. “Sure.” I told her. So I scribbled down my link and the name of the blog and melted into the crowd. Need I remind you that I wasn’t really into this reporter mode thing but this experience has taught me to be ready at a moments notice and represent myself to the fullest if I’m to really expand on this blog and try to make it as afrocentrically eclectic as possible.