Process of Elimination.
Thursday, September 20, 2007 at 08:23PM 
Never trust a woman that doesn’t have an appetite. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. If that saying is true for men, then it’s definately true that you can judge a woman’s heart by what she puts or doesn’t put her stomach. In my many years of living the single life one of my favorite tactics to use in screening the women I date is dining. You can pretty much tell what kind of woman you’re dealing with by how she eats on the first date.
Of course, me being the gentleman that I am, I prefer to pay on the first date. Some women, very few, will appreciate a man that doesn’t try to bargain her into going dutch or playing the old I-forgot-my-wallet trick and be selective in what they eat in order not to hit a man’s wallet. Some women, one in a million, will even let you order their meal for them especially if you take them to a restaurant they’ve never been to. However, some other women will take advantage and eat like a pig. Those women are in the mode of what I like to call survival dating. Some of them will try to give you the impression that they have the rest of their lives planned during conversation over dinner even though these kinds of women can’t think past what’s going to happen next week, so they gather food as if they weren’t going to see a hot meal again, at least until the next short-lived meeting with the next guy.
Other women of this nature aren’t even that smart. They won’t even let you finish buttering your bread before they come out with all of these horror stories about being raped, stalked, beat up, and robbed by some dude or barely surviving a bitter divorce - and why is it always they want to hang on to these America’s ten most wanted kind of dudes? Every story they tell always ends with “we’re still good friends”, which I will never understand nor do I want to understand.
Then you have some women that will go so far as to even order a few glasses of wine with their meal. In my experience these women can be labeled as husband hunters. Don’t let these kinds of women pick a place for you to dine if you’re not the kind of man that will drop your wallet on a first date. You leave it up to them and they’ll choose the most expensive restaurant in the city. They will order the most expensive meal on the menu without blinking and add insult to injury by snatching up a wine list and ordering a few glasses of wine. These kinds of women want to get married right away and they want to test a man to see if takes the hit to his wallet in stride. I don’t dig husband hunting women like this because 9 times out of 10 their ultimate goal is for a man to carry them financially.
Oh yes they brag and boast about being strong and independent and how they’re doing it for themselves and how
far they can stretch a dollar but just let a husband hunting woman find the right sucker. You’ll be surprised how lazy and unemployed she can get. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m no cheap skate by a long shot but if this is just the first date and the bill is over $100 and over 50% of the items on the bill went down her throat, then that’s a red flag. A favorite trick these kinds of women like to pull is to go to the bathroom when the check comes. I purposefully hold off on paying the bill and wait until she returns to the table. As she sits down revel at the astonished look on her face when she sees the bill is still sitting on the table. Oh sure I’m going to pay the bill but I like to see a woman’s reaction. If she has that look on her face like she got caught shoplifting a blouse or she looks at you like you’re crazy for leaving the bill on the table that long, then you know you have a triffling woman on your hands. However, if she opts to at least pay the tip, then that’s cool.
The one type of woman to really look out for is the one that eats like a mouse. Most of these kinds of women don’t even want a man foreal. I like to call these kinds of women Capitol One women - all they want is what’s in your wallet. These kinds of women may be supporting a man or she may be saving up for a house or be waste deep in bills, so they’ll order the cheapest meal on the menu or even just an appetizer. Now don’t be fooled by this ploy. I’m sure some of you are saying, “What the hell is wrong with a woman that doesn’t eat much?” The deal is this: They don’t want you to waste money on food because they want the cash in their pocket or in gifts - namely clothes and shoes or they’ll want manual labor i.e. fix a sink or cut the grass because she can’t afford to pay someone to do it for her in return for spending time with them.
The worst part is women of this nature are usually big time liars especially the ones that a a little heavier than the average woman of their height yet they pretend like they’re trying to watch what they eat? Yeah right. If it was that important she wouldn’t wait until she was about to bust out of that tight dress before she put the cup cakes and doughnuts. They also have a tendency to be indecisive. If they don’t know what they want to eat at the dinner table chances are they’ll have a tendency to be wishy washy and unreliable in a relationship too. I’m also sure at this point 
some of you are thinking, “Damn, Romulus, you’ve been played alot haven’t you?” Quite the contrary. It has benefitted me over the years to experience these types of women and their personality traits so as not to waste time in the future or allow myself to be unknowingly taken advantage of.
When you’ve had enough experience with women of different backgrounds and different objectives you can predict and, thereby, avoid unpleasant experiences. And in this way by learning women of this nature you can have better control over how these different dating situations will go. You won’t allow yourself to be mislead into thinking there may be light at the end of the tunnel when there’s really just a dead end. There may be some of you out there that feel knowing better than to even go through situations like this is the smarter way to go. But personally I’d prefer to have experienced situations like this, so if on the one occasion I do happen to have my guard down, which is rare, and run into a female like the ones I’ve described in this journal entry I won’t feel so cheated when she does show her true colors. It’s easy to spot a good woman - no one should need pointers on that subject. It’s the ones that will try to pull the wool over your eyes that you should look out for. And what better way to go through the arduous process of elimination than to enjoy the company you’re with for the time being while enjoying your favorite meal and the ambiance of your favorite restaurant?
Reader Comments (4)
Great Post :)-- I'm a tiny eater who offers to pay... What does that make me?
That makes you my wife :)
I've only dated two sisters in my life that offered to pay and didn't eat like cows. But let me clarify that there's a difference in a sister like you and the typical sister I'm referring to when in reference to "eating like a mouse."
You have some sisters that will eat like a mouse at an expensive restaurant but eat like a dog at McDonald's and Burger King. That means they aren't concerned about what they eat they'd rather just have the man spend as much money on THEM as possible.
On the other hand, with sisters like you, they are truly health conscious and watch what they eat as well as engage in regular exercize. A sister of this nature that prefers to pay and doesn't overeat for the sake of overeating usually doesn't want any strings attached. They are usually drama free and very goal-oriented.
I've had the honor of briefly dating one or two sisters like the aforementioned but with all the moving I've done from following my education and career I haven't had the chance to get a real fix on a good sister. But then again there are other factors at play that have hindered my success in finding that special sister (one being that you're in Japan and not here with me in Florida)I'm pretty sure you remember me discussing during the good ole' days at Blacktokyo.
Well, that was an interesting read, however, I don't eat much and never could eat all those fancy course meal offered in restaurants, so most times I settle for appetizers and a dessert after; this in no way means that I need the man money for bills or anything, cause my man knows I don't eat much. So sorry to burst your bubble.
That said, I also treat my man to dinner and have no hesitation paying for the entire meal, why, because it is my treat and sometimes men should be treated like a King - at least that is how I treat my man.
Thank you, Alicia, for your input. Of course there are exceptions to the rule - exceptions of your nature - that are clearly sensible and acknowledgable.
I'm currently dating a woman that apparently doesn't eat at all (???). We've only been on a few dates but everytime I take her to a nice restaurant she just drinks water. Of course her best friend that I met her through showed me pictures of when she was much bigger, so being weary of her calorie intake would probably be of great importance to her.
Do I really have a great catch or is this chick just so crazy that she's hiding something that my keen senses haven't picked up yet? Will I write an entry on her? I dunno. We'll see.